Андорра объявила войну Латвии, потому что они далеко и кажутся относительно безвредными
After sitting on the sidelines for the last 500 years of European history, the nation of Andorra today announced its intentions to take over the world. Nestled in the Pyrenees and protected by secretive agreements between Spain and France, Andorra is “tired of being known only as a dodgy tax haven and duty-free shopping paradise.”
“We have decided to declare war on Latvia because they are far away, we don’t understand their culture, and they seem relatively harmless,” said the chief of a hastily assembled military junta. “We expect to be finished by autumn and intend to fund the operation by sales of duty-free items along the invasion route.”
Reactions around Europe were slow to emerge. The European Parliament scheduled an emergency session for early next year to discuss the matter.
For reasons that are still unexplained, Albania quickly threw their support behind the impending Andorran offensive. Andorra has no air force, but Germany and Poland immediately closed their airspace in a precautionary move causing widespread business travel disruption. France and Spain, citing their citizens’ right to tax-free tobacco, were reluctant to seal their borders with Andorra.
Latvian authorities, still reviewing the threat, were unavailable for comment.